Last Friday Night

“Oh come on! It’s a party!”

Yesterday, Raiyne celebrated her 18^th birthday in Fiamma along Jupiter Street, Makati City. I was super hyped up the week before the day of the celebration since it’s going to be my first time in Fiamma. Based on the pictures, which I saw when someone posts on facebook, Fiamma is a bar which really is for the classy people.

Francis, Ian, Mae and I met at EDSA Shangri-La before we went to look for the hotel Raiyne rented. We left the mall at around 8pm expecting that the ride will only take 30-45 minutes since the mall’s quite near the hotel. While Francis was driving, we talked and reminisced about the scandalous events in Laguna during our block’s summer outing. We were quite confident in going to Makati because the three of us already searched for the place in Google Maps until Francis noticed that we were going the wrong way. We should have u-turned already but unfortunately, the car went up the skyway so we had to take the u-turn slot after the skyway. In short, it took us quite some time to figure out which way to go. The three of us noticed that Francis, block’s Logistics point-person and definitely our close friend, was already tired because of the long drive.

“Kung hindi lang ‘to mabait, ewan ko nalang kung ano na nangyari sa atin,” one of us said. It took quite a while before I realized what he meant. I asked myself several times, what’s in it for him, aside from the fact that he’s also invited to the party. He wasn’t and isn’t supposed to drive us just to attend Raiyne’s debut but he still did it.

From the hotel to Fiamma, same thing happened. The place was just a 10-15-minute ride but it took us almost an hour to get there. “Nahihiya nga ako sainyo eh, dapat nandun na kayo nag-paparty na rin kasama sila,” he mentioned when we tried to make the atmosphere light. “E mas nahihiya nga kami sayo, kapagod kaya mag-drive,” was what we replied.

I felt the excitement as we entered Fiamma—loud music playing, everyone’s dancing, glasses are everywhere. Ian, Mae and I decided to get our drinks since most of our block mates already did; some even had three glasses already. We went back to the table and talked. As I was seated there, my eyes were all over the place. I was curious to see what was happening to the place. Little did I know that my sociologist-wanna-be subconscious have already taken over me. Seconds after, I found myself roaming around and searching for people whom I know.

Luckily, I found one. Cheng was there. He was my English-literature block mate for three semesters. We talked a bit. And I got the chance to ask him what he was doing there. And when his reaction was like -_-, I decided to ask whether he’s usually in Fiamma. He said yes. Before I left, I noticed the girl he was with, probably his girlfriend.

I continued with my quest to search the place. I noticed that there were “bouncers” who were guarding the staircase to the second floor. When I reached our table, I couldn’t help but to look for the answer. Sadly, I failed. Although, the answer could have been one of the many reasons and scenarios which it thought of.

It was midnight when the crowd has gone wild. Seeing these people dance—male to female, female to female—in front of me made me feel awkward or is it really still considered dancing? After several minutes, most of them were snugging even if they hardly know each other. After several minutes, some left the one they were originally snugging with. And others even had new partners.

Others say that when someone’s drunk, he isn’t aware of what he is doing but I claim otherwise. When someone’s drunk he definitely knows what he’s doing although he thinks everything he does is justifiable because he is drunk. This could be what the mindset of most of the people in Fiamma was. Other’s expected to merely have fun. While some had different plans on enjoying the night and whatever it was, everything boils down to the theory of Social Exchange. Everyone planned how they are going to introduce themselves with someone. Everyone prepared actions and gestures should they need it when they want to reject someone. Everyone estimated how they are going to deal with other people. Everyone had their own expectations whether they’re usually there or it’s their first time. Everyone is affected with the outcome of how they communicated with the people they hate and want. This is social exchange. You calculate how you are going to present yourself because in return you want to get a positive response but others fail to do so. The reason why they get disappointed in a way and also the rationale why others prepare a contingency plan should there be flaws.

Here is Katy Perry’s recent music video about Friday night which definitely gives a preview of what happened last Friday night :P Enjoy watching!

"Social Smoking"

Everything is socially constructed. You are socialized in society. You learn the values that come along with it as you grow up.
-Professor Jayeel Cornellio, Introduction to Sociology and Anthropology 21

Both my grandmother and my dad, who I used to grow up with, smoke. Yet, as I grew older, they taught me not to because it is bad; it even says “WARNING: Smoking is dangerous to your health” in the cigarette packs. Years have gone by; they both got sick because of smoking. According to my dad’s doctor, a puss was starting to build-up in his throat while smoking was one of the reasons why my grandmother is having health complications.

This is my uber cool grandma who allowed us to take a picture of her while "drinking" a year ago. 

 Since elementary, I’ve learned how to socialize with people. In grade five, I have been elected as grade-level representative having no knowledge that I actually won the elections; I only knew about it when I was called to the stage and mentioned as the grade-level representative. After which, I’ve worked with fellow students and faculty members to accomplish projects for the betterment of the school and my constituents.

In high school, I’ve been very active in co-curricular activities. Interact Club of Metro Sorsogon sponsored by the Rotary Club of Metro Sorsogon was one of my many organizations which helped me socialize with people and opened my eyes to the reality our community is facing. General Assemblies, Social Nights, Parties, Induction Nights, Seminars name it; I’ve been there and worked with different kinds of people from chain smokers, heavy drinkers, corporate people and many more. Yet they are way too different when they go to these events than the way they actually behave in daily lives.

 With the Rotaract Club of Metro Sorsogon and Interact Club of Metro Sorsogon Officers during the induction ceremony.

From left to right. Rotaract officer, Mark Jamisola (President), Jocelle Mutia (Vice-President), Lovella Borbe (Secretary) and Robert Labalan (Finance Officer).

When I got here in Manila where smog is almost everywhere, I blamed smokers because of it. I even rejoiced when I heard that smoking pockets in Ateneo where shut down. During my whole stay in Ateneo, I met and socialized with various peers from my real block mates to En-Lit block mates.

With my lovely block, Block R ♥.

With my English-Literature block mates and Dr. Carol Nuñez, Sem1, 1st year.

There seems to be one night which I consider to be the turning point of my life in the issue of smoking and socializing. We ate dinner as a block somewhere in Katipunan then decided to go to one of our block mate’s house to drink. We played a drinking game called circle of death and it seemed that all the shot glasses were aimed at me. An hour or two passed and I finished one long-neck Matador bottle all to myself; thanks to my block mates who planned it all along and I just knew about it the day after. On the same night, I was so drunk yet I still managed to go the front porch and noticed two of my block mates smoking. I went there without planning to even try smoking yet one of them offered and said “Here, try this.” I don’t know what the devil was on my mind and without hesitation, I tried. And they said my first puff was wrong, “You’re faking it.” They told me told me to inhale ‘til the smoke gets into my throat and expel it out after. I did it. The feeling was different; it was soothing and I felt relieved.  

The days after, the line I drew from smoking slowly got blurry because of socializing. For me, it’s okay to smoke as long as you do it not because your body wants it rather because in a way, it helps you in dealing with people. Besides in the corporate world, I’d be having deals with some smokers and smoking with them will help in sealing the deal. “Pakisama” as they call it.  

In Comm 11, we tackled cognitive dissonance theory which in a way explains why we still tend to do something even if we know its risks. I compromised the risks of smoking and in a way, my health (which I think will have minimal and curable drawbacks), to socialize with more people.

Yes, I am one of those people who are aware that smoking is bad for the health yet I do it rarely. Besides, smoking one or two cigarettes won’t hurt. :P

One of the many ways to tell people to stop smoking. :)

DISCLAIMER: I rarely smoke.

Three Points of Argumentation

Years have passed since I last spoke in front of a crowd babbling about whatever issue we have to argue on. I might not be as effective as a speaker now than I was in high school, I sure do know the three techniques on how to win the crowd and the judges. It’s what we call “The Art of Rhetoric: ethos, pathos and logos.”

Last semester, (1^st year, 2^nd Semester) we discussed the issue on the RH Bill with the use of the three rhetorics

Ethos is basically about the character behind it.

Pathos is the appeal to the emotion.  There are speakers who choose to appeal to the emotions of the audience. They target their emotions in order to not just deliver but also persuade the audience to believe their line of argumentation.

Logos is the logic behind the argumentation. Without considering the logic in arguing, the speaker becomes useless especially when it only deals with ethos and pathos only.

In order to be a good speaker, all of these three have to be incorporated.